,

Whether you are boycotting VALENTINE’S DAY, or really excited to share that day your sweetie, if you are NOT MARRIED, this event is for you!

I am excited about speaking at this event and I hope you all can come!

College, Singles (25-39), Singles (40+)

Description:

Join us for a community-wide singles event! This fun-filled evening of music and comedy will feature Taylor Tomlinson and ‘No Sex in the City’ author Lindsey Nicole Isham. The brutally honest and often hilarious story of Lindsey’s quest for sexual purity in the face of an impure culture, baffled peers, and sexual desire is an encouraging message for singles of any age. Refreshments will be available at the break. Donations will be accepted at the door.

Location:

Newbreak Tierrasanta
10791 Tierrasanta Blvd, San Diego, CA 92124

Dates & Times:

Starts: February 11, 2012 7:00 PM
Ends: February 11, 2012 9:00 PM

For more information:Contact Ray Traynor at singles@newbreak.org or visit: http://bit.ly/yj9XPv Lindsey Nicole Isham is a national speaker and author of the book No Sex in the City, the brutally honest and often hilarious story of Lindsey’s quest for sexual purity in the face of a sexually-saturated society. Lindsey is a 32-year-old relationship guru, the ultimate girly-girl, and a PR junky. Read more about her at lindseyisham.com, or follow her on Facebook and Twitter.

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Women often get a bad reputation for being high maintenance, needy, overly dramatic, complicated, and just impossible to figure out, but really, women just want to be desired.

Women are simple really. We want to be loved and told that we are smart, loving, godly, and BEAUTIFUL.

Every woman wants to marry a man who desires her and desires to be with her, is that wrong?

Not at all!

You definitely DON’T want to marry a guy who DOESN’T want to be around you and DOESN’T desire you!

Although I am not sure when it begins in a woman’s life, I am sure that every woman desires to be desired.

This desire is both exciting and scary. It can be both a blessing and a downfall.

It’s exciting when you find the love that you have been praying for your whole life and it is so much better than you could have ever imagined!

But it’s scary when you realize that in order to love and be fully loved, you have to be transparent. You have to let that person get to know the REAL YOU.

But what if they don’t like the real you?

Many women are convinced that they need to pretend to be someone they are not all with the hopes of securing love from a man.
Other women do inappropriate things to gain a man’s attention, affection, and desire.

Some women use their looks and flirting skills to arouse men because they feel a sense of power when they are able to make a man fall for her.

Regardless if you are being yourself, manipulating men, or if you are pretending to be a woman you are not, God knows.

He created us with a desire to be desired and loved, but we won’t ever know or comprehend this love if we never take time to first know and accept His love.

You can waste a whole lifetime searching for love, going to self-help classes, and analyzing your past relationships, but without first understanding who God says you are, you will never fill your God-given desire to be desired.

Psalm 139:17-18 reads, “How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How vast is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would outnumber the sand. When I awake, I am still with You.”

I know that I will never find a guy who thinks of me as in a way that his thoughts about me “outnumber the sand.” Outside of God, that much thinking about one person is not humanly possible. That is a whole lot of desire.

The next time you think you need the attention and affection of a man in order to feel good about yourself, try reading the Bible and discover all of the amazing things that God wrote about you.

For the record, desiring and receiving attention from men is not a bad thing in and of itself, more so, it is your motives and how you handle the attention that God is really concerned about.

For more information about sex, dating, relationships, and trusting God:

~ Buy the Book ~
No Sex in the City
love loveby
Lindsey N. Isham
www.lindseyisham.com
http://www.facebook.com/lindsey.isham

http://www.twitter.com/lindsey_isham

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Thought from my reader:
Dear Lindsey, it is hard to be single and I feel lonely A LOT… If I am being honest, I wish I were married by now.

My response:
Summertime in California sometimes makes it difficult for me to be holy and sexually pure. I am from Colorado where people wear parkas for the majority of the year. In San Diego however, summertime includes half-naked muscular guys at a beach! But keeping my thoughts pure is only one of the difficulties of being an older single woman during the summertime; the other is the lack of having a husband and a family to share it with. Summertime is more fun when you can share it with your loved ones.

Because I am single, and many of my best friends are married with kids, I am constantly asking God what He wants me to do with my free time (especially on the weekends). I don’t want to be busy, I want to be fruitful. I know God holds me accountable for my time and I don’t want to waste it by wishing I had something else (like a husband and a family). But sometimes being single feels lonely… and apparently it is starting to show.

This summer at my friend’s baby shower I met and (apparently) completely astonished a pregnant woman my age. She asked me what I do for a living and when I explained my book she said,

“Well, I would have never guessed that you are 32; you look so young! And I had no idea that you are a virgin and single; you don’t look like a virgin. I mean, you look so happy… and you are so pretty!”

I wasn’t sure how to respond to what seemed like a back-handed compliment, but then I realized what her words implied; single women my age tend to look sad, bitter, or depressed because they are lonely and want to be married.

Her words struck me. Not only do older single women tend to look haggard – which is never a good thing- but by looking depressed the chances of an older single woman ever getting asked out or married are dismal. Who wants to look like that? What guy wants to date a woman who looks like that?

I am not going to sugar-coat the truth, being a single 32 year old virgin can be hard, frustrating, and lonely at times. Recently I realized that I haven’t been asked on a date in over two years… and I am not getting any younger! At the times when I get sad, confused, or frustrated about my singleness, God always graciously reminds me that I am not alone; I have Him.

Although I sometimes wish I had a tall, dark-haired, muscular husband who I could love and make love to, it is in those times of loneliness and discouragement, that, if I am able to take my focus off of myself and redirect my focus to God, somehow He comforts me.

So, instead of feeling depressed and looking worn-down, how fun would it be for single women everywhere to totally revive what it means to be a single woman!

We don’t have to look haggard and we don’t have to feel like we are all “called to singleness.” Instead, we can be fruitful and useful so that when God is ready to bless us with a husband, we are ready! And if God never brings us a man, we won’t feel like we wasted our singleness. After all, God was the one who breathed life into us and He is the one who can take it away. If we spend all our time pining about our singleness, it’s not our time we are wasting, it is God’s!

Singleness is either making you bitter or better. Choose the latter!

This article was featured in Hope For Women Magazine: http://bit.ly/nYas3s

For more information about about being sexy, sex, dating, relationships, and trusting God:
Buy the Book!

No Sex in the City
lllllovl
by
Lindsey N. Isham
www.lindseyisham.com
facebook: lindsey.isham
twitter: lindsey_isham

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(Mud Run: A challenging 5K run with hills, obstacles, 4-foot walls with mud, and tunnel crawls.)

Travis

I first met Travis at my friend’s house. He is sincerely nice, funny, and smart.
lindsey lindsey

Linds: What are the first three things you notice about a woman?
Travis: I notice the way she talks. For example, is she respectful and polite, or does she have a foul mouth? If she has a foul mouth it is such a turn off to me. I notice her eyes. Does she look at me when she talks or is she people watching. Lastly, her legs. (He didn’t comment on that one any further, but I think we get the point… hint, hint.)


Linds: What are four words your friends would use to describe you?
Travis: My friends would say that I am reliable, content, happy, and passionate. Reliable: When I make a commitment, I keep it. Content:When I reflect on my life and all that God has blessed me with, how could I not be content? Happy: I love to see people happy and I am happy with who I am. Passionate: I am passionate about living my life for the Lord and about soaking up His truth’s whenever I can. I am passionate about living, loving, working hard… well I could go on and on, so I will stop there.
lindsey lindsey

Linds: Why do you think you are ready to date?
Travis: I am ready to date because I am ready to meet the woman God has prepared for me to spend the rest of my life with. God has been preparing me for marriage and I know that I am ready for a life-long commitment.
indsey lindsey

Linds: What kind of woman are you interested in meeting?
Travis: I am looking for a woman who is Christ-centered. The kind of woman who exudes Christ in all that she does and how she lives her life, a woman with a Biblical worldview. The kind of woman who wants to learn and grow stronger and closer to the Lord. I am praying to find a woman who’s joy and happiness comes from knowing that Jesus Christ loves her for who she is.
jesus jesus

Linds: What do you do for fun?
Travis: I love to watch football, run (he chuckles) which, by the way, I can’t believe you are including that photo from the Mud Run! Well, if I can explain, the photo was taken within the last 50 yards of the race and I was dirty and tired… but oh well, too funny. So back to your question,  basically I love a good adventure. And during football season, I love Sunday Football Game Days with my family. We all get together, wear our jerseys and we just have a good time.
jesus jesus

Linds: Tell me one random fact about you that very few people know.
Travis:
I love to read mystery novels! I know, right? You didn’t expect that one did you?

Linds: No I didn’t, but I think that is awesome; do you have a favorite book or author?
Travis: Ted Dekker, David Gregory, and Joel C. Rosenberg to name a few.
jesus jesus

Travis is 34 years old, lives in San Diego California, and is keeping himself sexually pure for his future wife. Travis is proof that not all the good ones are taken!
jesus jesus

Do you know a great guy/gal who you think should be the next Bachelor/Bachelorette?

Nominate a Bachelor/Bachelorette of the Month, Here’s How: http://bit.ly/9XNPvV

For more information about sex, dating, relationships, and trusting God:

~ Buy the Book ~
No Sex in the City
jesus jeby
Lindsey N. Isham
www.lindseyisham.com
facebook.com/lindsey.isham
twitter.com/lindsey_isham

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A couple days ago I was getting ready at the gym just after I finished my workout. The women’s locker room is usually crowed in the morning as everyone is getting for work, but it is NOT normally a place where I overhear conversations about STD’s.

I was jamming so I wouldn’t be late for work and wasn’t paying much attention to anyone around me, until I heard two girls in the changing area next to me talking… and honestly I couldn’t believe what I was hearing; this is how their conversation went:

Girl #1 “Gosh, I really hope I don’t have a f—— STD; that would totally suck.”
Girl #2 “Yeah”

G #1 “I mean, I have been pretty good; it’s not like I am a slut or anything. I have only slept with two guys this year and I usually wait until at least a month before I sleep with him- just to make sure, you know?
G #2 “Yeah”

G #1 “It’s not like I am crazy and have sex with everyone, they were always my boyfriend. Well, last year I did sleep with three guys, that was my big sexual revolution year, and this year only two so far. (FYI, this happened in May of 2011)
G #2 “Can you talk louder I can barely hear you.”
G #2 was in the shower and her friend was blow-drying her hair, but G #1 was already talking so loud the entire locker room could hear her.

G #1 “I just am afraid of what might happen, and I want to make sure I can have babies you know.”
G #2 “Well, depending on the STD, most of them go away with medicine so I don’t worry about them anymore. Before I used to freak out, but now I don’t.”

At this point in their conversation I was thinking, should I say something or offer advice? Should I talk to the girl about why it’s so awesome to wait and how even though you may take a pill that helps the symptoms go away, if the STD is not caught soon enough, you can get cancer, warts, and serious damage can happen without you ever knowing it, until one day you try to have a baby. I kept listening.

G #2 “Do you want to have babies right now?”

G #1 “No, not right now; I don’t know anyone I would want to have kids with.” 
And yet you are having sex with the guy who gave you an STD.

G #2 “Well if you at all thinking about marriage and babies, don’t you think you should start trying to find and date the right kind of guy? I mean, you spend  a lot of time dating these jerks and the whole time you could be meeting a really great guy.”
G #1 “Yeah, you are right…”

At this point I was ready for work and couldn’t eavesdrop any longer without really being late for work, but my heart was broken for this girl. How easily we tell ourselves that we are “not that bad.” Whether you are “only sleeping with 2-3 guys a year”, more or less, we shouldn’t be comparing ourselves to “sluts” or prostitutes, we should be comparing ourselves to God and His standard.

I  desire love, not STD’s, a committed man, not a jerk… these are only some of the reasons I have chosen to trust God with my relationships and sex life. His ways truly are good.

For more information about about being sexy, sex, dating, relationships, and trusting God:
Buy the Book!

No Sex in the City
lllllovl
by
Lindsey N. Isham
www.lindseyisham.com
facebook.com/lindsey.isham
twitter.com/lindsey_isham

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Finally, a birth control method that is organic, safe, easy to use, accessible, and FREE!

Forget the pill, patch, or the ring and get… SOMEONE ELSE’S KIDS!

That’s right, the birth control method I recommend for singles is BABYSITTING.

This type of birth control is not for the amateurs or the faint of heart, this is for the individuals who need an occasional purity check. You know, for the times when you wonder if sex is still worth waiting for; this birth control is for you!

Right around the time when my girl friends first started to get married, my roommate Jenny and I were somehow volunteered to watch the kids of the family members for the rehearsal dinner.

No problem, I thought, Jenny and I make two, and there will probably be like 4 or 5 kids right… how bad can it be?

When Jenny and I showed up at the hotel room where we were scheduled to watch the kids, I opened the door and I felt like I was walking into a nightmare!

There were kids of all ages (from babies to 12 years old) and they were EVERYWHERE!  The kids were running, jumping, screaming, crying, pouting, and only a couple of kids were smiling.

There were around 15 kids in this room and we were supposed to babysit them for at least four hours. No one told us there were going to be this many kids!

Honestly, the night is a blur to me now; I think I have tried to put that night out of my mind. Somehow we made it through the evening and when the parents started arriving to pick up their kids, we couldn’t get out of there fast enough!

As we drove home that night, we both thanked God for the reminder of why we were saving sex for marriage.

Tip: If you ever feel like you need an extra dose of “Birth Control”, call up one of your married friends and offer to watch their kids for the night so they can go on a (probably much needed) date.

If you need a super boost of this type of “Birth Control” babysit for your friends whose babies who are teething or colicky and tell them to stay out as late as they like.

I guarantee that by the time your friends return from their hot date, you will want nothing to do with sex for a very long time.

For more information about sex, dating, relationships, and trusting God:

~ Buy the Book ~
No Sex in the City
jesus jeby
Lindsey N. Isham
www.lindseyisham.com
facebook.com/lindsey.isham
twitter.com/lindsey_isham

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Adrian

Adrian reminds me of my closest friends… she is pretty, smart, and loves God.

As most Christian women know, if you are attractive, you DO NOT usually get asked out by Christian guys, but hopefully we can change that!
lindsey lindsey

Linds: Tell me a little about yourself.
Adrian: I am 31 years old and I am a teacher.
I teach fifth grade and I absolutely LOVE IT!  I teach 5th grade because the kids are just beginning to think about major life choices (girls, boys, alcohol, music, friends, etc.) and I feel that I can have the most influential impact at this stage in their life. My favorite part of teaching is when I have past students come back to see me or when they write me letters telling me how much of an influence I had on their lives.  That is definitely priceless.
lindsey lindsey

Linds: What is your relationship history? Why are you single?
Adrian: I have never been married and I don’t have any kids.

I have been in a few serious relationships in college and even recently; I have learned a lot about myself through those relationships. I have also realized that despite my valiant efforts to make those relationships work, I learned that when you are with the wrong guy the relationship will never really feel right.

lindsey lindsey

Linds: What do you think it would take for a man to sweep you off your feet?
Adrian: I would love to meet a man whose heart is completely devoted to the Lord first and foremost. I’d like to be with someone I am attracted too, who makes me laugh, is confident, and has goals. The kind of man I really want to meet is someone I can trust and have a great time with whatever we are doing. I am praying for a man who is up for exploring new places or just sitting on the couch talking.

Linds: What do you do for fun?
Adrian: I love spending time with my family, writing, running, and anything to do with politics.
jesus jesus

Linds: Tell me one random fact about you.
Adrian
:
I love cereal and could eat it for every meal of the day! But don’t let that scare you; I also LOVE to cook!

Do you know a great guy/gal who you think should be the next Bachelor/Bachelorette?

Nominate a Bachelor/Bachelorette of the Month: http://bit.ly/9XNPvV

For more information about sex, dating, relationships, and trusting God:

~ Buy the Book ~
No Sex in the City
jesus jeby
Lindsey N. Isham
www.lindseyisham.com
facebook.com/lindsey.isham
twitter.com/lindsey_isham

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During my senior year in high school, just before spring break, I decided I didn’t want to have the stereotypical prom experience; I wanted to have the time of my life!

Guys never really asked me to dances in high school, so instead of waiting for a guy to ask me to prom, I asked my best friend John to go with me. John lived in a  different city and I knew I could trust him.

My hair looked great, I had a pretty dress, and I was with my best friend; I felt like a princess! This is exactly what prom should be like.

But for many of my friends, prom was something they try to forget.

At my school most guys assumed that if they started the prom night with pictures, dinner at a nice restaurant, and took you to the dance, they expected the evening to end “getting lucky” with you in a hotel room.

I didn’t want to go to prom with anyone who was betting on “getting lucky” with me, which is why I asked my friend John to go with me.

My friends who had bad prom experiences attribute their night of disaster to a couple things:

  • Poor choice in their date
  • Alcohol
  • SEX

They went with a guy who seemed “popular” only to find out that he wanted to get wasted as soon as they left her house… Her date was a drunken fool instead of a gentleman, obnoxious instead of polite, crude instead of caring…

My parents trusted me and my judgment and they trusted my friend John (my mom and John’s mom were best friends and we all grew up together).

Because I had given my parents plenty of reasons to trust me, my judgment, and my behavior, they told me I didn’t have a curfew.

I have never been a “night owl” so staying awake was a bit of an adventure in itself!

John and I started the evening with pictures at my house with the family, went to dinner at Benihanas, then off to the dance. We had fun at the dance, and probably acted like goof balls, but it was fun, there was nothing awkward about dancing fast or slow – we were just friends and talked and laughed the whole night.

Our “After Prom” was held at a new city recreational center and the entire 20,000 ft2 facility was our haven! Bounce houses, skee ball, poker tables, food, and fun!  After we left there, we stopped at an IHOP to grab a bite for breakfast then we went back to my parent’s place and crashed (in our separate rooms on separate floors- of course).

I was so tired I slept all day on Sunday… but it was worth it!

***********

This year my work threw a work party with the theme: “The Best Prom You Never Had.” I didn’t have a date, so I asked my best friend Jon to go with me. The night before prom, it dawned on me that this was my second time asking my best friend named “John/Jon” to go with me to prom.

Two different guys named John/Jon, 14 years apart, and both took me to prom! I had to laugh and thank God for the “John/Jon’s” He brought into my life at different stages of my life. In fact, I thought it was so funny that I made Jon (in the picture below on the right) pose the same pose that John (below- picture on the left) and I did at my high school prom.

This year, make prom a good memory instead of one you try to forget.

Contrary to popular belief: Prom is not supposed to be the night that you lose your virginity!

Find someone who shares the same values as you do -someone who will uphold your purity and reputation, not someone who’s goal is to try to take advantage of you – and have the time of your life!


For more information about sex, dating, relationships, and trusting God
Buy the Book ~
No Sex in the City
lllllllllllllby
Lindsey N. Isham

www.lindseyisham.com
facebook.com/lindsey.isham
twitter.com/lindsey_isham

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So you have finally met a girl who is beautiful, interesting, funny, loving, and smart. You muster your courage and overcome your fears of rejection and you ask her out. To your surprise, SHE SAYS YES!

You go on a date and have a great time, but when you call her the next day to thank her for the date, she doesn’t pick up.

You leave her a message and fumble over your words (because you weren’t prepared to leave a message and now you are over-analyzing your words, tone, speed, and the excitement in your voice).

After all, you don’t want to sound depressed while leaving a message, but you don’t want to sound desperate either!

You finally hang up the phone after re-recording your voice mail three times.  Although you can’t remember what you said or didn’t say, you are sure you asked her to give you a call when she has a chance to talk.

You give her some time and space, you even pray about what to do or not to do moving forward. When a couple days go by and you still haven’t heard from her you decide to call her again.

You hope she answers, but just in case she doesn’t, this time you have a better idea of what you will say on the voice mail.

You dial her number and she answers. Awesome! Maybe you were right in thinking that she was busy with friends and Bible studies; maybe she wasn’t blowing you off.  But as you begin conversing you can tell that she is acting different… Hmm.

She is polite, kind, and very much acting like a… friend.  But by the time you realize what she might be thinking, she mentions something to you about how she would love to be your friend.

There it is again… the “F” word.

Can I not escape that stupid word? You play it cool and tell her that you understand and that you want to be her friend too, blah, blah, blah. Immediately afterward she mentions that she can’t talk much today because she is on her way to meet her friend, but before she hangs up she invites you to a BBQ she is hosting this weekend.

You thank her for the invite and tell her you will get back to her.

You hang up the phone and realize that you are confused. She didn’t say she NEVER wants to date you… maybe she is the type of girl who likes to be friends with a guy before she thinks about dating him seriously.

Maybe she is still hurt from her last relationship; she did mention something like that on your date… or maybe she is not interested at all and is just letting you down easy!

But if she wasn’t interested at all why would she want to be friends and ask me to hang out again this weekend? You are not sure what to think, what to do, and how to be “Just friends” with girl you are completely attracted to.

If you know you are interested in a woman, and in one way or another she communicates the importance of the “F” word, can you really be “just friends” with the girl? … To Be Continued.

For more information about sex, dating, relationships, and trusting God:

~ Buy the Book ~
No Sex in the City
by
Lindsey N. Isham
www.lindseyisham.com
http://www.facebook.com/lindsey.isham

http://www.twitter.com/lindsey_isham

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When I first asked Chris what he was looking for in a woman, he said he was looking for a woman who:

1.  Has a heart for God
2. Is not in it just to date but if things go well marriage is the goal.
3. Is able to click well enough that we become best friends.


Chris may not live in your home town, but I am sure that his story and his heart will remind you that good, godly guys are still out there and they are still praying for a godly wife!
Linds: Tell Me a Little About Yourself Chris

Chris: I am a 28 year old Creative Arts Pastor.

You are probably wondering, What does a Creative Arts Pastor Do?

In short,  I help move the church out of the archaic systems of the 1950s by helping the church find relevant methods of communication for today’s culture.

Before I was in full-time ministry, I worked in broadcast and marketing for 10 years. If you are doing the math and that seems wrong, its not; I started working in media arts way back in high school.

Linds: What About Your Relationship History? Why Are You Single?

Chris: “I was once married and even though I was burned from that relationship I realize that God used it to teach me A TON of  life lessons. ”

When he talks about his past marriage he says, “There are consequences to relationships when people don’t follow God’s wisdom and rules.”

Regardless of how long or how extensive you fight to make a marriage last, in the end, if your spouse refuses to stay, you can’t make them.

In regards to moving forward with romantic relationships, I am not just dating to date. I don’t  just want to date a ‘church-going girl.’ I want to date and marry a woman whose heart for God motivates and inspires me to be more in love with Jesus.

Linds: What Do you Do For Fun?

Chris: “I love learning to cook new meals -this is very new but so much fun-,  surf, watch movies, ride my bike around the beach, and I like to bowl; I even have 2 bowling balls and a shirt!”

Linds: Tell Me One Random Fact About You

Chris: My mom named me after Winnie the Pooh: AKA: “Pooh Bear”
She saw a store named “Christopher Robin” while she was prego with me. The store was full of pooh bear stuff. Well.. That is pretty much it. My name was figured out from that point forward. The silly part is I have an older sister name Kristi!

Ladies, I think we can all agree that Chris is definitely an eligible bachelor! Praise God that “the good ones”like Chris are still out there!

Do you know a great guy/gal who you think should be the next Bachelor/Bachelorette?

To nominate a Bachelor/Bachelorette of The Month: http://bit.ly/9XNPvV

For more information about sex, dating, relationships, and trusting God:

~ Buy the Book ~
No Sex in the City
by
Lindsey N. Isham
www.lindseyisham.com
facebook.com/lindsey.isham
twitter.com/lindsey_isham

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