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Guys Give Dating Advice to Single WOMEN

When you’re not really interested, don’t try to spare his feelings. If you suspect he likes you, or he says so, be up front and firm. He’ll be better off knowing than if you let him think there’s a chance.

As for the ones that don’t take no for an answer (especially when there’s no chance you’ll change your mind) ask another guy you trust to make it clear… but only when you’ve had a firm, definitive talk first.

Also both my wife and I had a list of the things we wanted. If you don’t know what you want, how can you tell? And yes, God can give you your list, he did for both of us! – Joel

Don’t go alone if you can help it. Get a few friends together and make a double date! – Paul

Well, just like men, there are two kinds of women….players and grown-ups. If your a player….GROW-UP, and that’s all I have to say to you until you do.

If you’re a grown-up now and still looking for advice from me, I might say that you have started out correctly, so just be patient….with yourself and with your suitors.

Trust your instincts and you’ll do fine. If you start to suspect something; confront him immediately. You have GOT to be able to trust each other for there to be love. If he fails to properly expain himself after the confrontation, FLUSH him INSTANTLY…PERIOD. – Andrew

Don’t do the nervous talking thing. Even if the guy is quiet and it feels awkward, still try to step back and make him initiate some of the conversation. Show self confidence. Don’t be afraid to talk about your faith, or to ask him about his. And smile :)  – Aaron

Just be yourself -Bernardo

Be honest all the time and do not lead us on, we have feelings too. – Robert

Don’t be afraid to let a guy know you’re interested. You don’t have to be like “Hey, I like you” but you can at least initiate conversation. – Sam

Find a man you can trust as a real friend before you just jump in something. – Clarence

Not just out of courtesy and respect, but if you really care you will PUT THAT CELL PHONE AWAY! I hate talking to someone who has a texting/twitter/facebook addiction! – Leo

Try not to completely disregard a guy who is shy. – Michael

For more information about about being sexy, sex, dating, relationships, and trusting God:
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How did you know when you met “the one”?

How did you know when you found the one you wanted to marry? A question that many single women have! Here is your chance to hear from some great men and many of them are my personal friends!

Remember: Don’t limit how or when God can introduce you to your future husband!

Andrew:

“I knew by the third date she was a keeper, but also knew we needed time for our relationship to season a bit. After about ten months or so, she questioned the future of our relationship; where it was leading. It was at that very moment God prompted me to propose. We’ve been married over 9 years happily, with two kids and a third on the way. She is my very own Angel, an I thank God for her every day.”

love is patient, love is kind

love is patient, love is kind

love is patient, love is kind

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Kevin:

“Sylvia was a gym bet. She was/is by far the most attractive woman/girl in the gym. For six months I’d watched numerous guys turned away. I launched a very ‘soft’ approach. A smile here, a hello there but never engaging. Over time she warmed up with small talk. After six months I zeroed in and bet the Gym Manager I’d get her number. He knew every other guy got rejected so it was on. I had her write her number on his business card. AWESOME.”

Red Pepper on Pizza! Not only was Sylvia HOT, she loved HOT food too!!!! What more could a guy ask for? All kidding aside, it was immediate. I just knew she was the ONE. We met in the gym – she loves to work out. Sylvia also loves the outdoors, loves to do things, is incredibly attractive, very interesting and to this day I learn more and more things I love about her. Our first date was 21 years ago. How cool is that?
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Keith:

“I don’t know what sealed the deal, but the fact that she’s drop-dead gorgeous was a good start. That she prays daily for me and God answers her prayers was a huge clue. That she communicates clearly what she’s thinking, yet trusts me to make decisions for us is amazing. But I think that since she’s so loving, quick to forgive when I fall short, and works hard with me to get us where we want to be lets me know I made the right decision. I’m a lucky guy, she’s beautiful inside and out.”
love is patient, love is kind


Levi:

“She can cook!!!”

love is patient, love is kind

love is patient, love is kind

love is patient, love is kind

love is patient, love is kind

love is patient, love is kind

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love is patient, love is kind

Nathan:

“When I felt like I wanted to seek God because of her and I felt more like a man when I was around her.”

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love is patient, love is kind

Michael:

“I met my bride by “accident” one day while she was avoiding a former boyfriend. We decided to sit together at church the following day and had our first “date” after services while enjoying lunch at Subway. It was during that first date that we decided to get married. 10 months later we were wed. That was 20 years ago this upcoming August 10!”


love is worth waiting for


love is worth waiting for

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For more information about about being sexy, sex, dating, relationships, and trusting God:
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Women can have a certain power over men when it comes to enticing and seducing them… but usually women use the wrong things to seduce men, thus they draw the wrong kind of man.

Discover how to attract the right kind of man and how to keep him always wanting more!

#1 Just say “No”

A woman who has high boundaries is more than a challenge, she is someone who respects herself; men are attracted to this kind of woman. When you respect your body and value it, men will too. Save sex and sexual intimacy for your spouse.

#2 Leave A Lot for the Imagination and Honeymoon

What you wear can draw and entice a man to you… but when you dress like a prostitute, don’t be surprised when you are surrounded by pimps.

God wants us to be godly, feminine women and there is a way to dress trendy without “flashing our cash.”

Check your motives for wearing the clothes you wear – if it is to gain the attention of men, realize that you are probably doing more harm than good, because the guys you REALLY want to have are often tempted or turned off by women who are scantily clad!

When deciding on outfits to wear, instead of showing off all your goods, keep them on reserve for your honeymoon, for the man who will cherish you for more than your chest size.

#3 Seek God with all your heart!
Godly men are attracted to a woman who has an amazing heart for God and people; these characteristics are attractive. A  woman who is actively seeking and serving within her gifts and boundaries, a woman who isn’t waiting for a husband to start pursuing her calling, is a VERY Attractive woman.

#4 Take care of your body.

Guys are visually stimulated; I can’t stress this enough… Ladies, it matters what you look like. You ought to have an amazing heart and great character but it is also important to take care of your body. By taking care of the way you look/dress, you open the door for a great guy to discover your heart!

For more information about about being sexy, sex, dating, relationships, and trusting God:
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It is not easy getting asked out by a single, eligible, responsible, good looking man… especially when that man is SHY!

Call me crazy, but I still believe that men should pursue women, not  the other way around.

This concept is difficult for women to grasp, especially if you have any of the Type A personality traits like I do.

This is how it starts out:

#1 You see a good-looking guy.

#2 You smile and make eye-contact from across the room – hoping he will get the hint and come over and talk to you.

#3 He doesn’t get the hint (You make the excuse that he is probably just really shy) and you realize you are NOT GETTING ANY YOUNGER, so instead you ask him out (because you think you have nothing to lose).

#4 He either says “yes” or “no”. If he says “yes” you probably spend the majority of the relationship wondering if he really likes you, or if it is just “convenient” to be with you.

*Yes I understand the above statements are a generalization, but I wrote it because the majority of the time it is true*

Do you think guys like getting rejected? Nope.

Do you think they get nervous asking girls out? Yep.

But just because it is scary, nerve-racking, or intimidating to walk up to a woman and ask her to dinner (especially if he is shy), it doesn’t mean it shouldn’t happen.

Guys mature into men in many different ways, one way is through their relationship with women.

Ladies- Let guys be men. Let them initiate. Let them take risks and when you do, they will become the kind of man you are praying you will one day marry.

They will gain self confidence and the adreniline pumps through their blood every time they get ready to call a girl or ask a pretty woman out… this is normal, so let the normal process happen by stepping out of the way.

Here are 5 Ways to Help You Get Asked Out by a Shy Guy:

#1 Do you Look Dateable?
Appearance is the first thing a guy notices about you, and since you never know where you will meet your future husband, always dress to “impress.”

Also, a note about purity rings, when I am in a relationship with a man, I wear my purity ring on my ring-finger (my left hand), but when I am single/dateable, I wear it on my right hand. If guys look at you then see your purity ring on the “wedding ring-finger” they  will most likely keep their distance.

#2  Body Language:
80% of communication is non-verbal, what are you saying through your body language and is it saying, “Hi” or “Leave me alone?” If you frequent coffee shops and always choose the same chair, use your laptop and your noise canceling headphones, you will probably never get asked out in that coffee shop.

If however, you are attentive to your surroundings, smile at people, chat with some close you, make eye contact with others, your body language is communicating a “non-hostile” environment and thus increasing your chances of getting asked out.

#3  What is your response?
Since I suggest that women don’t make the first move, I instead suggest that they develop the art/skill of responding to men who do initiate.

Since we understand that it takes a lot of courage for a guy to ask a girl out, when they put forth the slightest effort, it helps alleviate some of their stress if we respond in a welcoming/friendly way.  I am not suggesting you lean over and kiss the guy – don’t get crazy on me- but I am suggesting you help him with the conversation.

For example, say a guy has the guts to walk over and start talking to me (either about a subject I like or don’t like), it is always polite for me to engage in the conversation.

Remember, sometimes you have to talk about nothing before you talk about something!

What I mean is this, sometimes you will talk about surface level stuff like the coffee, your favorite drink, the weather, whatever… before you can expect to have a deeper conversation with him. So ladies, help him out a little!

#4  Don’t be too quick to judge:
Even if you think he is cute from a distance, or just “okay” looking, give the guy a shot.  Don’t be too quick to judge him and always be friendly.

#5  Be patient!

We want love and we want it NOW!

But this is not how love works. If you know a guy at church, Bible study, work, etc. and you truly think they are a catch… BE PATIENT!

We don’t ever like to hear the word “wait” especially when it comes to relationships, but I keep deferring back to I Corinthians 13:4 which says, “Love is patient.”

One definition for the word “patient” is: long suffering.  When you think you can wait no longer for that guy to ask you out, check back with God and see what He is telling you. He will either tell you to keep waiting, or He will bring someone else along and you won’t think about that other guy anymore.

For more information about sex, dating, relationships, and trusting God:

~ Buy the Book ~
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Lindsey N. Isham
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Ever been interested in a guy who was overly shy?

Ever thought you should ask him out instead of waiting for him to make the first move?

Yeah, me too.

My Freshman year of college there was this shy guy on the basketball team who caught my eye.  I played golf , we both had the same classes, tutors, and schedules, so we saw each other a lot.

I couldn’t tell if he liked me (I could never tell when any guy liked me, let alone a shy guy).

He was really sweet, made me laugh, and he was really good looking!  One day during study hall I thought, you should just ask him out already. What’s the big deal anyway?

Shy guys need a little help asking girls out.

I  thought about asking him out, but in the end I decided not to and here’s why.

I need a man, who, even if he is shy, will take risks and be bold enough to ask me out. I need a confident man. And if God is ever telling a man to ask me out, and for one reason or another the guy doesn’t ask me out, well, that is between him and God.

I need a man who will do something that God tells him to do even when it seems hard, scary, or when it makes him nervous.

Seriously, if a guy doesn’t have enough guts to ask me out, he is not going to be courageous enough to date me and do other adventurous things with me in the future.

The same is true for you.

During my Junior year,  that guy who I had a crush on, finally asked me out.  He was still shy, but what I didn’t know was that he wasn’t walking with the Lord during my freshman year.

He said he liked me and wanted to date me, but he had the fear of God in him.  He and all the other guys knew that I was a woman of God, so he never tried to ask me out.

God has protected me from men (who would try to corrupt me)  in a lot of different ways, one of those ways is by telling them not to ask me out.

Just because a guy is shy, it doesn’t mean you need to ask him out.

Let guys pursue you and never settle. All the shy guys I knew in college got asked out by girls all the time, but when they really wanted to date a girl, they would ask her out.

This may sound odd or confusing, but the next time you think you need to ask out a shy guy, wait.  Your dateless lifestyle may actually be a blessing right now. Thank God for all the ways He is protecting you and keeping you pure!

Remember this: God doesn’t need your help, but He asks for your love, obedience, and trust.

Coming Soon: “How To Get Asked Out by a Shy Guy”

For more information about sex, dating, relationships, and trusting God:

~ Buy the Book ~
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Lindsey N. Isham
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Friday December 10, 2010 I will talk with radio Host Debbie Eckelbarger about:

*Dating during Christmas

*Dos and Don’ts: Christmas Gifts for your S.O.

*Boundaries and managing expectations in newer relationships around the holidays!

Christmas Dating Tips today on KNLB @12:15 PST. Find your local station or listen online: http://www.knlb.com/

For more information about sex, dating, relationships, and trusting God:
~ Buy the Book ~
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One word… Respect.

The one thing guys needs from women is respect.

A lot of women have heard of this word, but either the concept is hard to grasp or the execution is a little allusive. Unfortunately, men, for the most part, we have let you down.

On behalf of women everywhere let me apologize for all of us who have not shown you respect.

Let me explain.

If we go back to the basics, we remember that we were all made to bring glory to God. Seems pretty simple right?

Single and married women alike struggle with this concept, therefore, it is hard to make it a lifestyle attitude and behavior.

In Ephesians 5:33 wives are given the command to respect their husbands.

Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.”

Why am I telling this to singles? Well, because there is no magic “married button.” Respect for men (and one day your husband) comes with practice. But instead of practicing respect, women seem to daily increase their abilities to disrespect men both publicly and privately.

We laugh at TV shows that portray men as idiots, (like Everybody Loves Raymond) but then we get so frustrated with the fact that many men seem immature and ill qualified to lead us. Out of our frustration and hurt we tear men apart with our words, actions and overall lack of respect.

Many women reading this may think to themselves, I don’t respect men because they have failed to earn my respect.  Although I understand that, this view is not exactly biblical.

1 Peter 2:18
Servants, be submissive to your masters with all respect, not only to those who are good and gentle, but also to those who are unreasonable.

Technically speaking, both women and men are servants to God, but notice who it says to be respectful of… “not only to those who are good and gentle, but also to those who are unreasonable.”

Ladies, when a man is acting in a disrespectful way, it does not give you the right to act disrespectfully in return. We are to continually glorify God in all we say and do (just as the men are). When you get married and your husband does things that you either think could be done better, more efficiently, or you just think his idea is stupid; you will have a choice to make.

You can either choose to respect and honor him (and pray like the dickens), or you can tear him apart and belittle him so much so that he has no desire to lead (or attempt to lead).

I am convinced that every man needs a godly woman to (kindly) remind him of his calling  and lovingly show him respect.

Men, in saying all these things, please don’t misinterpret my meaning; you need to act in a way that God defines a respectable, godly man who is a gentleman and possesses godly integrity and honor.

But I think that if we, godly women everywhere, will act in a way that provokes men to be the kind of man who deserves the respect that we are giving them, then we just might have the opportunity to tap into the hearts of men everywhere and encourage and inspire them to passionately love and obey God.

For more information about sex, dating, relationships, and trusting God:
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No Sex in the City
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It’s one of those things that isn’t really explained a lot in church…

Girls are supposed to be “brides.”  So how do guys feel about being described as a “bride of Christ?”

Do they ever think about it or feel weird about it?  Do they feel less manly or have a hard time understanding, relating, or picturing it?

Matthew 25:1  reads:
“Then the kingdom of heaven will be comparable to ten virgins, who took their lamps and went out to meet the bridegroom.”

I recently read this and could picture everything that was being said and I thought about what that would be like… but then I wondered about the guys.  Godly guys are men; men are different than women… Guys don’t grow up picturing themselves as the “bride” of anything.  They are supposed to be the groom.

Jesus constantly referred to Himself as the “Bridegroom.”  The disciples must have been so confused; guys everywhere must be confused.

I don’t know, but I wonder if guys have a harder time relating to certain blessings/events that the Lord described due to the male/female related attributes that we associate with certain things…

Any guys want to weigh in on this?  I definitely don’ t claim to be an expert on this.

Regardless of what we feel or how certain things sound weird, God is so amazing and wonderful and I am so blessed that He loves us and like the bridegroom that Jesus so often talked about, I am so glad He is coming back for us!

For more information about guys, sex, dating, relationships, and trusting God
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No Sex in the City
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Lindsey N. Isham
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I meet a lot of men who say they aren’t “ready for marriage just yet.”  This is acceptable if you are still in high school, but at what age should guys become men and start getting serious about finding a wife.

“He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the LORD.” Proverbs 18:22

The Bible says a wife is a good thing… and what guy doesn’t want favor from the Lord?  Evidently a lot of guys see “favor from the Lord” as a meaningless thing.

I talked with a guy about a month ago and he told me that he is finally ready to start thinking about having a serious relationship and possibly marriage.

Awesome!  I always get excited when I hear guys say this!  Then I asked him how old he was; he looked like he was 24 years old.  He was 28.

28 year old men are just now thinking about marriage… wow, times have changed for sure.

People wonder why women like me are still single… it is because the men our age are only just now thinking about being a man and taking a wife.

Although we would rather have them realize this at age 28 than to never have them realize it at all, but really?  Why did it take them so long to come to this conclusion?

I won’t get on my soap box, but I would like to say this: Women everywhere are praying for men to step up and be MEN. Men, be the kind of man who every woman prays she will one day marry.

For more information about screening guys, sex, dating, relationships, and trusting God
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Five common mistakes women make that cause guys to end the relationship. Avoid these and you will have a higher chance at having a healthy relationship!

#1 Know it all:
No guy wants to be with a woman whose favorite words are “I told you so.”  Everyone makes mistakes, but don’t make the mistake of always trying to be right.

#2 Bossy:
Guys need to feel respected and admired… but that is the opposite of what they feel when a girl is bossy.  Ladies, if you want to have someone you can always bark orders at- then get a dog  -not a man.  You tell dogs what to do: sit, stay, fetch.  Most likely, your man already has a boss, keep those roles separate and respect your man.  Trust me, politeness goes a long way.

#3 Jealous:
Jealousy usually indicates a lack of trust or low self esteem.  Although it is wrong for a guy to do things that he knows would cause you to be jealous, that is not what I am talking about.  You know you are jealous when…You get jealous when he smiles at the hostess as he thanks the hostess and smiles just after making your dinner reservation!

#4 Insecure:
Everyone has insecurities, but if you are so insecure that it is puts strain on the relationship, you need to talk to God and figure out what to do to be more confident in who He created you to be. Overly insecure people miss out on a lot of fun things all because they are afraid of looking fat, stupid, etc. in front of others.  This for sure is one of the biggest turnoffs for guys!

#5 Pretenders:
You know the type.  The girl who will pretend to like sports, plays, Thai food, etc. all in an attempt to get a guy to like her.  Be yourself. When you are comfortable in your own skin, comfortable to express your own opinions, guys dig that.  If you pretend to be someone you are not, the real you gets lost and the guy is cheated in the end because you have deceived him the entire time.

For more information about guys, sex, dating, relationships, and trusting God

Buy the Book ~
No Sex in the City
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Lindsey N. Isham

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