31 Year Old Virgin Shocks A Porn King!

I didn’t think anything could shock Ron Jeremy, the guy who has been in over 2,000 porn films, and rated the #1 Porn King in the nation… but when I told him I was a 31 year old virgin, he literally jumped back.

Who is afraid of a virgin? Evidently Ron Jeremy is!

At first glance he probably thought I was just another hot (well, maybe just average looking)  porn star, but when he found out that I am still a 31 year old virgin (on purpose) it confused him. As I told him that I was a virgin, he jumped back and his eyes got so wide it was as if he had seen a ghost! It was so hilarious to the people watching that they all were shocked (that he was so scared/shocked) that everyone started laughing!

I briefly told him about my book, No Sex In The City, One Virgin’s Confessions of Love, Lust, Dating, and Waiting, and he asked me, “So why did you write it?”

LI: “I was made fun of for my stance, for waiting, so I wanted to write about it.”

RJ: “Oh, I get it, so you wrote about it to make fun of yourself,” he said with a smirk.

LI: “No, I wrote it to encourage others to save sex for marriage and to remind women that they are worth waiting for.”

Ron Jeremy was speechless and clearly confused; he just stared at me for a few seconds.

I wanted to meet him and look him in the eyes… I knew I would see an empty, lost, lonely man… but still, I had to see.

There we stood, polar opposites: Ron Jeremy, who has been in over 2,000 porn films and has produced over 100 porn films. He actually admitted that when having sex (in the porn films) he had to think about his dead grandma (instead of the woman he was with) in order to continue having sex (and to perform for the cameras).

And then there is me: I am a 31 year old virgin and I can hardly breathe without thinking about sex and sexual pleasure; I have not objectified men and I am sure I don’t need to think about any of my dead relatives in order to enjoy sex.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to think about anything but my husband while I am having sex with my husband.

Ron Jeremy may have had “sex” with over 2,000 women, but I don’t think he has ever known true intimacy. Intimacy is defined as the ability to be completely vulnerable with someone else (even in sex and sexual relations).  God meant for this to be with our spouse, but when you take sex outside of marriage, it becomes something that you don’t enjoy, and in fact something that reminds you of your dead grandma.

For more information about sex, dating, relationships, and trusting God:
~ Buy the Book ~
No Sex in the City
by
Lindsey N. Isham
www.lindseyisham.com

http://www.facebook.com/lindsey.isham

http://www.twitter.com/lindsey_isham

About Lindsey Isham

Lindsey Isham has been working with singles for over thirteen years and has traveled nationwide, speaking to audiences ranging from junior high girls to collegiate women about relationships and sexual purity.

5 Comments

  • Pewaubek Reid
    October 20, 2010 | Permalink |

    Hey Linds. Long time follower, first time commentor. While I definitely dig what you’re doing I just wanted to help you get some perspective on what Mr. Jeremy meant when he said he had to visualize his dead grandmother in order to perform with attractive women. He didn’t mean that he was sexually aroused by thoughts of his dead grandmother as you insinuate further on, but actually quite the opposite. You see, when most of us men are with a woman whom we are very attracted to, our “stamina” or ability to control our orgasm is diminished accordingly. The more attracted we are, the more inability we have to control it and therefore the less we are able to stimulate and fulfill our partner. The practice of thinking about something that is the most unstimulating theoretically allows us to prolong the orgasm and therefore having a more impressive performance in Mr. Jeremy’s situation or just to allow your everyman such as myself a better shot at pleasing my partner.

    Also, I really, really agree with your mission in raising intimacy awareness and it’s something that I’ve preached for a long time as well. However, the concept of intimacy that you describe can only be felt by a woman I fear. As men, sex can only be sex. Of course it is better emotionally when you’re in love but it is still just sex. When we’re in that moment and performing then something changes inside and we become mostly animalistic. Having sex with someone is akin to completing a conquest or winning a battle. It is the supreme feeling of achievement and there is no other sense of triumph greater than the sensation of an orgasm on our terms. I believe in monogamy and intimacy and I feel that you can be and feel completely open and vulnerable with people other than the person that you’ll spend the rest of your life with. I’m now ecstatically engaged and have no interest in being with anyone else for the rest of my life however I’m glad that I didn’t wait and most of my sexual experiences in the past were fruitful and teaching. I now preach that the onus of intimacy is on the female in the relationship and when I have to teach my future daughter about sex I’ll just try to instill in her that she needs to want to do it and feel comfortable with and trust that person and not be doing it just because she feels pressured to do it or to try and make someone like her more.

    Sorry for rambling and thanks for reading.

    Pewaubek Reid

  • November 11, 2010 | Permalink |

    Hey Pewaubek,

    Great to hear from you and thank you for writing!

    For starters, I understood what Jeremy said about his dead grandma, but it was morbid and disgusting, and since (he claims) he has slept with over 5,000 women, he doesn’t view sex the same way. For Jeremy, (and for many people) sex is just sex… and it was never meant to be that.

    I agree with you that you can have a legitimate intimacy with someone you are not sexual with. The dictionary definition of intimacy is, “the ability to be completely yourself with another person,” yes, that can include sex (of course)… but just because Jeremy has slept with over 5,000 women, doesn’t mean he knows a thing about true intimacy.

    I am not sure why you think the burden for intimacy should be on the female, as the male, the leader, the head of the house (talking about marriage again) it is the man’s job to set the tone in his house. He should lead in being humble, selfless, and intimate. This is no small task for sure; but where the man leads, most likely the woman will follow.

    Many young women feel that they are “ready” for sex, when usually they just want to feel loved. Our society has convinced many women that in order to be truly loved by a man you need to have sex with him so that he will feel loved. This is a lie of course, and every woman I have ever met, and guys who tell me their story too, they regret not waiting. They regret the list of names of people who they thought “loved” them, and they realize that what they thought was “love” as a teenager, college student, etc. was not really love at all, it was affection, and they cared for the person, but the people I meet, they regret giving themselves to someone.

    No one needs “practice” with sex. If you get married, you are going to find out a lot of things about your spouse, why not also discover those sexual things together? I don’t think your spouse (the one who has pledged their whole life to loving and blessing you) would be upset when you two navigate sex together.

    Anyway, just some of my thoughts. I wish you the best and hope to hear from you soon!
    Sincerely,
    Lindsey

  • Matt Stelling
    December 3, 2010 | Permalink |

    Ha! This was fun to read! It would be a fun discussion… it’s much harder to respond to/comment about with a keyboard.

    My thoughts: Not all men think that sex is just sex… or that it’s like winning a battle. If anything, it’s like losing a battle :) I also don’t think the burden for intimacy should be on the female… but it should also not be on the male… in an ideal situation it would be shared. The more sharing, I think, the better the relationship. As far as sex and waiting goes, I have several reactions: 1) sex was “meant” for procreation, and everything else about it is mankind’s invention; 2) I’ve met as many men AND women who enjoy sex just for the simple act of it, the “closeness,” the affection, as I have men AND women who think sex is a celebration of love – in other words, there is no “right” or wrong” way to view or practice sex, just opinions and choices; 3) unfortunately, not all women are as forgiving/sentimental/spiritual/etc about sex as you, Lindsey, and thus most men are constantly worried about their abilities, hence the need for “practice.” Even when married, a man will worry, I imagine.

    Furthermore, I’d love to hear you talk to your daughter about sex, Reid :) Lindsey, I saw that you visited ASU in Tempe a few months ago and I tried to attend, but couldn’t find the room! I’ve still yet to publish any of my work, or submit it for that matter, but I hope my own book tour is not too far down the road… in the meantime, enjoy yours, etc!

    Just thought I’d chime in :)

  • December 7, 2010 | Permalink |

    Wow, you guys are awesome and it is sounding like we need another high school reunion asap so we can get all of us together and talk! Good times I am sure.

    Okay Matt, I have a few thoughts about what you said. Why do you think having sex is like losing a battle? I want to hear more about that.

    I agree that intimacy should be on both, but as the man, you guys ought to be the leaders.

    So, about sex and it’s intention… are you ready for this? :)
    Sex was meant for procreation, yes, but it was meant for much more than that – so I have to disagree with you because it is not man who created sex, but God. And all throughout the Bible husbands and wives are commanded (yes commanded) to have sex to provide pleasure, comfort, relief, refreshment, joy, oneness, excitement, etc. for one another. The fact that two people (man and woman) can actually enjoy each other- is a gift from God Himself- not something some guy invented one day.

    I agree that sex should be a celebration of love… but then I would challenge you to define love and then ask you how you came to these conclusions about love. It can easily become a “slippery slope” if you define love as anything other than the way the Bible defines love. Love is: patient, kind,it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. love never fails.

    Although you may truly love a person, when you have sex (or sexual interactions with someone) outside of the above definitions it is not selfless love, it is selfish, lustful, and usually has alternative motives.

    As for your comment ‘there is no “right” or “wrong” way to view or practice sex’, by this statement you are saying that you think poligamy, adultery, pornography, child pornography, prostitution, child prostitution, molestation, rape, beastiality, etc. are all okay right? I mean, if you are saying there are no “right or wrong” ways to practice sex, then you think all of the above forms (and even ones not mentioned) are permissible ways to show “love.”

    And as for not all women having the same “forgiving” views of sex… you are implying that your wife will only marry you because the sex is good and pleasing all the time, and if that is not the case, then she won’t marry you and or she will leave you – if at any time in the marriage the sex is not what she thinks it should be. Gosh, that would be awful.

    I am convinced that great sex is more than just two people stimulating each other with their sexual organs… sex, great sex starts in the mind. It is when you truly love the person, respect them, admire them, laugh with them and can be yourself with them and then also enjoy the sexual pleasures of each other and with each other… Sex is supposed to be more than just a physical union, but also a soulful, spiritual one as well. And the Bible says that when we have sex in ways that please God (one husband with his wife) He blesses it in a way that no man-made object or ideal could explain.

    Just some of my thoughts… thanks for chiming in Matt and I can’t wait to hear what you think!

    I would love to find out what you are writing about and help you in any way I can!
    Sincerely,

    Lindsey

  • Matt Stelling
    July 15, 2011 | Permalink |

    Ha! I think I checked this for a few days to see if you replied, then forgot all about it… just revisited!

    So, my extremely belated reply…

    1) “The fact that two people (man and woman) can actually enjoy each other- is a gift from God Himself- not something some guy invented one day.”

    My initial thought is, “isn’t a gift from God the same thing as something that some guy invented one day?” Essentially…

    2) I certainly don’t condone poligamy, adultery, pornography, child pornography, prostitution, child prostitution, molestation, rape, but I’m all FOR beastiality! Just kidding. Of course those are “wrong.” But I still don’t necessarily believe there is a “right” way, and without a right way, can there be a wrong way? I don’t know. Confusing. But I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt on that one! :)

    3) No, a woman probably wouldn’t marry a man just for sex, but I’ve heard numerous stories FROM women who left a man because the sex was underwhelming. It might be more exception than rule, but…

    4) I agree completely about the physical and the spiritual… unfortunately, the physical is much, much, much easier to find/accomplish! :)

    5) As for the “sex is like losing a battle” comment, that was mostly in reply to Reid’s “sex is like winning a battle” comment, in that I usually feel as though I’ve lost the battle, not won it :)

    6) I just took a year off of work to write a novel… ended up writing two… creative nonfiction, I guess you’d say, but I’m not sure if it’s more creative (fiction) or more nonfiction. Hard to say. Definitely defying some boundaries.

    Hope all is well with you! Still intend to read your book. Check the used bookstores sometimes, but have yet to find a copy. Too poor to pay retail :)

    – Matt

Leave a comment

Add your comment below, or trackback from your own site. You can also subscribe to these comments via RSS.

Your email is never shared. Required fields are marked *