What’s it Like to be a Thirty Year Old Virgin?

lindsey-purpleWell, it depends on the day, but seriously, I won’t lie, it’s not the easiest thing in the world to be a 30 year old virgin.

I am like any other girl who wants to get married, have sex with my husband, and have kids.

I pray for my future husband, wherever he is. Sometimes I wonder what he’s doing and what is taking him so long to find me.

But I don’t always think about being 30 and single. I have a very fun life and I love living it. Yet…I won’t deny that thoughts like, why am I still single? pop into my head. Occasionally, when I see a family at the beach playing together with the husband hugging his wife, I think, that looks like a lot of fun!

If you are wondering if I wish I would have had sex by now, then the answer is “No”.  I would wait another 30 years if I had to, if that is what it took to wait for my husband.  He is the only one I want to share those things with.

~ Buy the Book ~
No Sex in the City
Lindsey N. Isham


About Lindsey Isham

Lindsey Isham has been working with singles for over thirteen years and has traveled nationwide, speaking to audiences ranging from junior high girls to collegiate women about relationships and sexual purity.


  • December 10, 2012 | Permalink |

    Praise God for women like you, Robyn!

    I know tons of men and women who feel like they are alone in this battle for purity, so it is great to hear that you too are standing firm!


  • Carol
    February 4, 2013 | Permalink |

    Wow! I love this about you! You are one in a million! Stay strong and true! He’s out there somewhere.

  • March 31, 2013 | Permalink |

    Touche. Sound arguments. Keep up the good effort.

  • December 9, 2013 | Permalink |

    Hi Jake,

    It sounds like your focus may be in the wrong place. God is so good and He loves you so much. Today I encourage you to find things that you are thankful for and start thanking God for those things (out loud). Ask Him to show you how much He loves you as you read the Bible, drive to the store, go for a walk, hang out with friends.

    When we take our focus off of God and put it on ourselves, what we think we need, want, etc., our perspective becomes cloudy and we can’t see how blessed we really are. If you are a believer, and it sounds like you are, remember that you were created to bring glory to God. Never get tired of living a life that does just that.

    Maybe it would be helpful for you to find an older man in your church to mentor you and talk with you to help you through this rough time.


  • Jennifer
    July 5, 2014 | Permalink |

    Lindsey, I thought your book was beautiful in many ways. I only wonder why since you’ve been married do you barely comment about your marriage, specifically. This is at the very foundation of this value system. It’s important to convey your experiences now that you’re married after living your young adult life in celibacy. Not expecting you to talk about your sex life but, rather, to talk about how your choices have impacted the marriage you have and how step-motherhood is going. Do you plan to have children of your own, etc. In essence, to share some of the life you have since marriage so those following this path can see the image of the gift to come. That’s what’s missing and wish you could share.

  • Anonymous
    July 18, 2014 | Permalink |

    I’m reading your book and I really admire what you’re doing! I’m also a young Christian woman saving herself for marriage and it’s so good to read about someone else with the same experiences… I hate it when people imply that women don’t have sexual urges like men do or imply that sex is always bad/immoral. Women have urges just as men do and sex is great in marriage. It’s hard waiting but I don’t think you can enjoy sex unless you do it guilt-free and where God would want it i.e. in marriage. Also if sex is ubiquitous when it loses meaning/value. If someone has sex all the time with different people how much can it actually mean to them? I’ve known so many guys who have tried to pressure me/automatically assume because I’m white I must be easy. I have always refused to do anything intimate and have no regrets. I wish there would be more young people who would see things this way.

  • July 29, 2014 | Permalink |

    Hi Jennifer,

    Thank you for your comments. I totally agree with you. But instead of me coming fresh out of the gates of marital status and talking about how much I know about married life, I wanted to give myself some time to take it all in. I jumped into a lot: a husband and two young boys. I needed time, that and I had no time. :) I am ready to write now, so stay tuned for articles to come…


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